Name Game

In America, when a man and a woman get married, the woman is expected to shed her maiden name and take on her husband's last name.  As a kid, I thought this was slightly unfair; what if the woman likes her last name, and why does she have to be the one to give it up?  But I never saw it as much of an issue.  Even now, when I know that the tradition does have sexist roots, I do not view it as a negative or prejudicial practice in today's society.  It makes sense for married couples to have the same last name for a feeling of unity, and if taking the man's last name is the norm, there is nothing terribly wrong with it.

Today I read an article about name-changes on Yahoo!
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112736/name-change-dilemma-women-marriage-wsj?mod=family-love_money#mwpphu-container

The article calmly explains the dilemma that some women face with familiar names and social perception.  Women with careers that involve name recognition (such as artists or those in high-powered job sectors) have to "make a name for themselves" almost all over again, since the original name meant something to people that never knew the woman personally.  College students, at least, tend to view women who take their husband's last name as more caring and emotional, whereas women who keep their maiden names are seen as more ambitious and career-oriented.  Just this difference demonstrates the American tendency to generalize, then take things on face value.  This ignores the complexity behind every choice; there are a myriad of reasons why women might make one choice or the other, and an equal number of reasons why it may be important to her husband, thus influencing her decision. 

More interesting than the article, however, were the comments underneath it.  While the anonymity of the Internet and the optional nature of commenting encourage a disproportionate number of people with more extreme views to comment, I was still very surprised at the number and ferocity of sexist comments. 

• OH, quit your winning, either get married and take your husbands name as it SHOULD be, or stay at home with mommy and daddy as you can't seem to grow up. There is a reason the wedding vows say to love, honor, and OBEY your husband.
• Man was not created for women , but women for man. You are to become one.Take your husbands name
• Get a life, read your bible's God never once said that a lesser woman was ever a MANS equal.
• i know i would never marry a woman who did not want to take my last name. thats just not how its supposed to be. she is a woman, i am a man. if shes trying to separate herself from me all like that anyway then why should i even want anything to do with her?
• If she doesn't want to assume your last name...NOT WORTH MARRYING !
• Don't even bother applying if you have a hyphenated last name. I won't hire you.
• I'm from the old school I guess, because I still think if you LOVE a man enough to marry him, then RESPECT him enough to take his name when you marry him!
• >>>>>>> Any women using a ( - ) name ((ex. Jones-Brown)) are nothing but TROUBLE
• You feminists should remember that men created the safe little world in which you live and think you are just as good. The men are stronger and ultimately can take what they want -if they wish. Western Society is all that is between you and being property again.

The United States is a country where prejudice is not acceptable on the wide social scene, but that does not make it go away completely.  Plenty of people are not bigots, but there is still a significant minority that is.  Most arguments against women keeping their own names stem from either religion, or from traditional gender views, and there is a strong assumption that factors and decisions that are right for the commenters must apply to everyone else, because if it does not, it should.  Of course, this is less cultural and more human.  People in cultures with less freedom and more unity tend to assume their culture observes the proper way of doing things and others should follow them.  In the United States, freedom of speech and religion allow for many different groups with different views, but each of these groups still tends to see its views and ways of life as the "right answer."